June 22, 2004

Am I telling myself to ask a question? Something (me) is, I think. Aghh!

The wound is on one finger, but the other finger feels pain. When I first cut the ring finger on my right hand, it realy hurt. Why doesn't it hurt anymore? Why does it tingle in my pointer finger?

If I had slept for more than 6-7 hours over the past forever, three or four days, maybe, I most likely wouldn't take the small accidental gash on my finger to mean anything deeper than just that. Why can I find it to so easily represent irrelevent things that only might be anyhow when I am in this state? Bombarded by metaphors from the sun possibly? Perhaps my body matter is at just the right angle to not allow the silly metaphors to slide through and they hit me instead, like a blind and light... Radiation... I am totally adrift you see, like this. Floating along, I could be quite the writer. Maybe I'll not sleep more than a week over a years time and write a book that will facinate the universe. Hah! Sleep deprevation can'y make you a god! How silly of that jokeful thought to intrude upon the point that may be in this blog entry?

Wait, did I say point? A point did cut into my finger. That does not represent anything I am trying to say, though I am not sure of what I say. I know certainly that that was a nothing statement--one that could have been done without but that I included anyway.

Where was I? I think I was about to go on about something. Maybe... the thoughts of representations. Let me think of better wordings. I'll state it. I find things to represent things sometimes. Am I hard to follow? I shouldn't have typed that blab above. It wasn't all blab, so on I go again. Let me try getting back to something I was trying to start.

I think about what is on my mind. Of course. Certain approach people's mind s, many things... the meaning of life and religion, sins, guilt, lust... well those are a few, definately not everything, and wow, not what exactly is on my mind, you know what I'm getting at, I hope. I hope you know that you think and are aware of your thoughts. oh, and another: love. Hm. I'm not doing a good job at writing this.

What is on my mind is incorperated into these things I think up. When I think of something that represents something, it usually about omething or someone on my mind.

man...cycles, phases, and oh, will I ever sleep? What is insomnia?

There is so much to explaibn to explain me. Perhaps...I should try not to. Perhaps...I cut my finger and someone. you say wtf? Maybe I do too. How can I find someone in my sore? I am not looking at my pains and hurt and finding love. no! My mind is running off and throwing people at my thoughts! What does that mean? thought (a) was on my mind and I cut my finger. I think my tired mind tied the two together with my insanity. Yes there is a thought (b), (c), (d), (etc.)

Where I am going or just went I do not know! I am probably wrting this because the cut is irrelivent. Thought (a) is still on my mind. The cut didn't change anything. Why would it? Why would my mind start trying to connect (a) to cut when there is no glue? I think my mind is glue. NO! My mind wants to be a glue! Maybe it wants to make bonds within its self! Don't you see that? I'm pointing back at assumptions, when my mind tries to create everything out of a smither of knowledge. My mind tries to create something out of an assumption and a an irrelivent thought. In this case, the irrelevent thought was the cut on my finger. "The wound is on one finger, but the other finger feels pain," is what my mind created and found to be able to represent many things that I think (due to assumptions) may be possible or going on.

Am I going to keep typing? Will it lead anywhere? probably not. I enjoy it though.

Talk about a frankenstien flower taped together. You have no idea what that means, do you? It wouldn't mean anything to you. Look at the time...


-Kevin

Posted by Audiophile at June 22, 2004 04:12 AM
Comments

the absence of sleep has an effect similar to that of many drugs or even a large amount of alcohol. where everything is brought to a deeper level, without any foundation for this newfound depth. many times, i've felt depressed and panicky without a good reason for these feelings, and it was simply because i hadn't gotten sleep, and everything that would be small and manageable when addressed with a fully functioning mind, was blown out of proportion. to the point that i could cry or injure myself or anything. due to lack of sufficient sleep ever. it can be dangerous.
it can be humorous as well, as the mind, when one's consciousness is duly altered, can create quite interesting nonsensical 'stuff.' magical. ah. and if that didn't make sense, read the entry it's in reply to.

Posted by: heroic=truth at June 22, 2004 08:55 PM

I think that you should try to get some sleep. Yes that was a very obvious statement.
~Sommer

Posted by: Billy the kid at June 29, 2004 11:53 AM

I got 14 hours of slppe last night. :-P

Posted by: Boyo at July 13, 2004 11:00 AM