November 09, 2005

Numbness.

Total Numbness.

Am I reaching the maximum possible level of desensitization?
I've changed so much, but it feels like I've only grown
less responsive.
less alert.
less caring.
less thoughtful.
less sensible...
and
more silent.
more stupid.
more numb.
more apathetic.
more inhuman.
more ... dead.

I'm not phased anymore. Before i was passionate about my entries on my blog. Now I'm without inspiration. Things that should affect me don't.

Imagine a death right in front of you. how would you react?

Sometimes i feel like I'd just stand there. Maybes stare off past the drama... past reality... into numbness...


How do I revive my spirit? my motivation? my passion for everything?

My mind is growing inert and I do not know how to combat it. Sometimes I don't know how to care anymore. It's almost an invoulentary apathy.
It makes me feel terrible, but I don't know how to feel that emotion anymore. All senses are numb. I want help... expressing myself... living... being human again...


-Kevin

Posted by Audiophile at November 9, 2005 02:24 AM
Comments

Go for a long drive and listen to your favorite songs and let it all drift away. Ive gotta place were i go when i feel like that. i should show you were its at...but it would have to be after 1030 at night. And you cannot tell anyone!!! totally topsecret

Posted by: Billy the Kid at November 9, 2005 06:39 PM

Well...

I'm desensitised in the sense that nothing will affect me. Not even the death of my own family. It has happened. I witnessed a death once. Nothing.

But, there is still spirit in me. I still have fun, I still laugh, I still pretend to care.

Posted by: Steelix at November 14, 2005 02:58 AM