January 27, 2004
It's a Tuesday
Well, so far, my week seems quite succesful. We bought another Volkswagen Golf over the weekend. It's a black 1985 GTI. It needs a little bit of work...but over all, it's really quite an awesome car! Now we have three VW Golfs. I'm going to put some pictures up sometime soon, now that we have the correct cable to use our digital camera.
My car, a white 1986 Golf X-1, will be capable of moving it's self out of the garage under it's own power by the end of the week, maybe this weekend. Same with the GTI if all goes well, although it may not be ready untill next week.
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I feel like even though my projects are going well and I am enjoying them, I'm not satisfied. I feel like I'm working on the cars because there is something driving me other than the need to fix the cars. The cars are an obstacle and a gift in one.
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It's the beginning of the second semester of my junior year in high school. What a joyus yet depressing time. Days when my mind battles it's self. A time full of hardships and wonderful moments. Frustration. Authorities. Realizations. Friendships. Confusion. Love.
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I don't like being able to see around the corner and know I can't get around it until other things are solved. I don't like being stuck in the ditch in front of my destination. The cement blocks on my feet are hard to lift, but I know my effort must not hesitate or falter.
Now it is late. I should go to bed. I'll stare at the ceiling for some time while my mind whirls through thoughts, emotions, and randomness. I'll slip into a peaceful relaxing slumber in time, though...
-Kevin
January 23, 2004
True Power
"True power is the ability to deploy non-violent diplomatic solutions where others would need force."
- quote by 'error'
Remodeling
I hope your eyes like the new look. *grin* I certainly think it's nice. I'm not sure what to do with the text color in each entry, though...
-Kevin
January 21, 2004
Beautiful Scenery
I went for a walk, well, hike, into my backyard after school today. It was a nice day to do it. It helped me take my mind off of school (finals especially). I climbed a tree that stood on top of a 15 foot boulder that sits over the creek. It was kinda neat. The plants were thriving and green. I like the way moss makes a kind of spongey turf for you to walk on. I wish I could have shared it with someone...
-Kevin
January 19, 2004
Home
I have no fucking home. I feel as though sleeping beneath a rock would feel better than being anywhere around here. I know of a good rock, too...
-Kevin
January 14, 2004
Site Construction
I've been fiddling with the colors. I'm too lazy to fix them.
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Just figures, one of the first construction images I found was this one:
What do you think?
-Kevin
January 12, 2004
How long
How long can I stay here
like this
with them
here
missing what I need
having what hurts
trying to survive
in an environment that opposes me
I feel like I need to get out
escape
leave
drive away
immediately
now
I can not
leave what, you ask?
the problem
If I could run
and stay in front of it
I would be escaping
hiding
covering my dilemma with a blanket
but I would have to sit on it
to hold it down
tie it up
and drag it behind
perhaps
that is the only solution
for now
perhaps
I do not understand
the problem
and therefore
can
not
solve
it
yet
-Kevin
Powerful words
Time and time again, people use words like 'hate' without realizing the power behind the word.
"I hate having to tie my shoes."
The term is used so loosly that it greatly perturbs me! 'Hate' is a powerful word.
We should never use it when speaking of our shoes.
We should never use it when speaking of our parents.
We should never use it when speaking of our enemies.
We should never use it when speaking of anything.
Hate is bad.
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I do find it interesting, though, that 'love' is misused and misunderstood in a similar way. The meaning of it has been dilluted.
"I love you!", the man said to his grilfriend after their first date.
I do not deny the fact that a man can love a woman (or vice versa) after their first date, but I think people should think about what 'love' really is before they say it.
"To make love" is the most defacing phrase to the word love. It changes the meaning of love to sex.
Love is not sex!
Both 'hate' and 'love' should be redefined in everyone's heads and dictionaries. People's understandings and uses of these words need to be changed.
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(That was the shortened version. I cannot express the full entirety of it.)
Feel free to post your thoughts, oppinions, etc. I'm curious as to what you have to say.
-Kevin
Colors
Do you ever feel
like colors
ruin the message?
-Kevin
Stress
It seems that stress really got to me today. I could feel it with every breathe, spoken word, and thought... It rushed my defences and flooded into the streets of my head. I felt quite aweful by the end of the day, despite the great mood I was in all morning.
I had to go to a stupid Jazz A sectional after school today. It sucked, and playing trombone with Gordon sucked. I wish I had just left and not gone to that after school. I think it was the lowest point of my day.
After that, though, I hung out with Kati, Rachel, and Karl. I liked being around them. It helped a bit. :-)
-Kevin
January 11, 2004
2 am, a pen, paper, and cursive.
I see your signs
and don't obey
what am I thinking
anyway
I know you're there
and I hear
your call
yet I procrastinate
and should fear
my fall
-Kevin
Cursive
I have not written in cursive (other than my signature) for at least 4 years until last night.
It was interesting.
I don't know how to write a few letters, and I've forgotten almost all of the capital letters. It was a bit of a challenge.
You see, I never really learned to write in cursive. Back in third grade, I viewed it as a sort of foreign language that was completely and entirely unnessesary. Many of my teachers made me, or tried to make me write in cursive for my assignments in school. I felt like I was being forced to do it, and I hated that. I wrote in cusive as little as I could until, eventually, people stopped trying to make me do it.
Last night, well, more like 2 am this morning, sitting in Karl's room, I decided to try writing in cursive again. I kind of enjoyed it. I could take it up as a hobby. I think I will write recreationally--in cursive. Obviously, it will take practice to write at a decent pace... ...sounds fun, oddly enough.
:-)
-Kevin
January 10, 2004
NIN
Nine Inch Nails
I made it in Photoshop a while back. I thought it suited Nine Inch Nails well.
-Kevin
January 08, 2004
Blog Makeover
Well, I doubt anyone will notice, since nobody has really seen my Blog, but I've just given my blog a cool new look. It will surely change more with time, but I kind of like the look of it for now. :-)
-Kevin
Wednesday & Thursday
Wednesday was aweful. I felt like crap all day, probably because I only had three hours of sleep, but also because I still had the horrible headache. On top of that, I had all the other issues in my life to deal with. I went home after school and went to bed at 5:30pm.
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Today turned out okay. All morning I felt pretty crummy, but that was mostly caused by being stuck back into school after a two week break. After school, though, I hung out with Kati and Karl for a while which made me feel a lot better.
I think the headaches I've been having are related to the car accident I was in just before Christmas (I hit my head fairly hard), but I'm not sure.
-Kevin
January 06, 2004
(opening of blog) & Macworld
First of all, thank you Eric (EVula) for hosting my Blog. Congrats on the latest expansion of your evil empire of websites.
Now for my first entry...
Well, I just got back from ditching school and going to Macworld Expo San Francisco. It was quite cool. :) I was able to bring Jason, Casey and John with me and I'm sure that they will agree that it was a blast.
I am currently suffering from a MacExpo hangover, though. I have an aweful headache. I certainly hope I don't have it tomorrow as well, it's going to be hard enough getting to school at 6:30am...
It's getting late now and my headache has not seized! (I dunno if that word works there or if I spelled it right, but who cares.) My head hurts. I can't think straight. I'm going to bed. Goodnight.
-Kevin