July 26, 2004
torn up
I was dreaming about it, which really made me feel torn up. But what do dreams mean? I'm thinkin' these dreams were just dwelling over my thoughts... Dwelling is all, though. I seem to remember coming to the conclusion that dwelling was usually bad because you need to take action on things. Dwelling just brings you down.
So, if I think about my dream, I realize what I was dwelling over. Now I need to get myself past it...
hm, tough one.
-Kevin
July 23, 2004
a little scared. quite frightened.
"It was fun, though..."
It was bad. I have to think about it.
I'm bashing my head into a brick wall in my mind. I hope you understand why. Yes. Talking is good. Communication is good.
-Kevin
Forgiveness.
Forgiveness.
Thank you for Your forgiveness,
and thank you for your forgiveness.
-Kevin
I am a moron!
an idiot!
a stupid stupid stupid person!!
I can hardly belive myself!
-Kevin
July 17, 2004
July 16, 2004
July 15, 2004
war can be silent--it can be invisible--it can be unknown--
but alas, my day was not ruined as i sat there going off about his stupid apathetic ass
but the world could have stopped for a minute or two there...
but nobody heard the words I said
likely a good thing, as it is most of the time
it is hard to understand, but it's harder to figure out what's my problem and what's not
I like dealing with things
I like fixing things
it is hard when the people resist, though, or the world
they use every weapon against me
like some kind of heresy
they are so confident
fists with stones in them
but I don't even let them get a shot in
they have pretty much learned to avoid me anyhow
ignorance
so they can live out their heaven of nothing
of dust
I simply sit here in confusion of how things could be that way
myself confident too, just different
...but the mind can view everything in a different way, if it were wanted. I did choose this perspective for a reason.
So I sit
I think
I wonder
and my shoulders are sunburned
and boy am I tired!
-Kevin
some days are like this
today there was a lack of inspiration
nothing excited me
i fixed the doorhandles on the car
but not because i was excited that i got new doorhandles
simply because the old ones had broken off
and i needed to put new ones off
i was happy that the new fuel pump gave the car more power and better response
but i had trouble thinking-making more improvement
-Kevin
July 12, 2004
world 4
This is totally cool! I am playing Nintendo with Patrick in the garage. We're taking a break right now.
Today has been kind of nice, I've been in a pretty good mood.
I went on a 15 mile bike ride on the trails up by the five mile house this morning. I went with Jason and Jan.
Then, Later, we drove and Jason's car broke...so we put a new radiator in... and bam! I'm here now!
Cool.
-Kevin
July 08, 2004
I wish they would stop.
One thing I love are the overcast skies...
If I could drive away, I would.
-Kevin
July 03, 2004
hypocritical
Definition: [adj] professing feelings or virtues one does not have; "hypocritical praise" Synonyms: insincere
July 02, 2004
A lot of the Time I don't write efficiently. Or talk efficiently...
I usually read my entry again and go back and edit it, making sure things have clarity, fixing typos and stuff. I like revision and efficiency. Updates. Being on the current edge and being clear about it. yeah... Anyway, after many of my entries, I go back and edit them. With this last entry I, though, I thought, "What is the point? Half the time it doesn't make much sense or mean anything even after I edit it!"
hm.
I love having a blog. I can just type into it. Now I see that it doesn't even matter if I read it and edit it simply because I don't need to. I will anyway, just as I will keep typing...
-Kevin
The words just rolled off my tongue into the microphone
I said something! I didn't finish, but it didn't matter. I could have said something else! Oh darn! I am so mixed up that nobody would no where this is going. ...and I won't say. It is entirely different than you think! umm. I am assuming you are taking this completely different if it could ever apply to you. Either way, it would find a way to be wonderful.
-Kevin
July 01, 2004
either would be fun
but then Kevin's head exploded because of what the title sparked.
-Kevin
I'll look at it, but it's all jammed up and stuck in there! (in my very frustrated, agrivated, and angry voice)
but to the left of that
I could post another, but it surely wouldn't get me anywhere, and I know the point would be distorted and probably entirely lost. hm. I guess I did.
-Kevin
chill time and think
if it will ever happen
just myself
because it is healthy to be alone sometimes
as alone as one can be with Him
adding extra spaces and returns is pointless
...
-Kevin
Well, shoot...
...umm...confused
a bit lost in myself
perhaps
but mostly
just
deprived?
of relief?
of sleep?
and something totally f-ing random that doesn't belong here?
rough
with myself in part to blame
-Kevin