It seems that whenever I need to make that phone call the most, nobody answers the phone.
Again, I want to drive there and be there in person knocking on the door rather than using a phone... But alas, a compromise is necessary when you work 50 miles away and can't drive anyways. Nobody answers their phone. I hate talking on phones. That comprimise sucks.
This place is so crazy.
It is great to read some of my old entries
They inspire me or bring me back to a moment in time
I feel dilluted, though
I feel a need revert back a bit
I feel so pressured away from...
from being me.
Last night I spent way too long changing the front brakes on my dad's van. Two of the bolts that hold the brake caliper on becames stripped and destroyed... I started the project at about 8:00pm and finished at 12:10am after much struggle and frustration.
at 6:30 I got out of bed and put my work uniform on and got in the car. I tried to sleep on the ride to Sugar Bowl, but I didn't get any more than 10 minutes of rest. I worked from 8:30am until 10am then they let me off for a ride break. I went skiing until noon. I came back to the rentals and they said to stay on break. They didn't put me back on for the whole day, which sucks because that means I only get paid for an hour and a half. Such shitty work hours. At least I get to go skiing. If it weren't for that, I wouldn't work there. I think I made 11 dollars today. Fuck that. I feel like crap today and as if my day was wasted. I could have been doing so much better things. And the people I was with...I did not want to be around them. I was going to call a few other people but I kept getting side tracked/distracted... and when I call people they are never home anyways.
So now I am at home and I'm wanting to be alone. There are only three people I would like to be around right now.
I wonder if you know who you are.
I feel as though everything around me is out to ensure that I have a mental meltdown -- that everything is there to ensure the destruction of all of my beliefs and individual feelings.