Hero:
Insomniac Rating™: 9/10
+9 for being totally kick-ass is every possible way, shape, and form.
-1 for not being in english. Bastards.
DodgeBall: A true Underdog story
Insomniac Rating™: 8.5/10
Funny as hell.
Napoleon Dynamite:
Insomniac Rating™: 7/10
Very funny, and kinda weird.
Paycheck:
Insomniac Rating™: 6.6/10
It's better than you think. Really.
-3 for having stupid parts
-.4 for having Ben Affleck, who was only good in the movie "Dogma", and pretty much everything else has been total crap.
In America:
Insomniac Rating™: 9/10
Very sweet and touching. I felt that it would really affect me emotionally were I a woman, or if I had a soul. In either cases, I would have cried.
-1 for oozing with touching, emotional crap. ...and for only having one knife fight. :\
The Village:
Insomniac Rating™: 7.5/10
This movie is very suspenseful, and has many great twists.
-2.5 for being predictable.
Starsky and Hutch:
Insomniac Rating™: 8/10
Funny as hell. Really.
Bad Santa:
Insomniac Rating™: 9/10
Pure genius. I loved it.
Butterfly Effect:
Insomniac Rating™: 10/10
Excellent.
Bourne Supremacy:
Insomniac Rating™: 2/10
This movie sucked so bad that I'm actually going to review it.
Shaky camera: good for action shots, sucks for everything else.
Seriously, what the hell? It was ALWAYS shaking. You couldn't tell what was going on.
The plot sucked, too. Everybody is confused, including the audience, and just as you begin think, "Hey, I think the climax is about to come up in a second"... the credits pop up. "Oh, I missed it? hrm..."
Basic premise:
One day, Bourne gets caught in a tight situation. Somebody is trying to assassinate him, but only manages to kill his girlfriend. With nothing else to live for except revenge and hatred, Bourne decides to track down the killer.
At the same time, Bourne is framed for ruining a Government operation, and they aren't really sure what he's is trying to do... After thinking about the last time they tried to kill Bourne and failed miserably, they aren't sure if they should mess with him again. They eventually decide to just take a more advanced approach and kill him once and for all.
...But instead of being better at trying to kill him, they really, really suck at it.
So he finds the dude who killed his girlfriend, fucks him up, and... leaves him alive. Idiot.
Then he exposes this conspiracy, blah blah blah... He decides to make the wrong things right by freaking out this girl who's parents he killed a long time ago.
So he breaks into her apartment and waits for her to get home from work, at which point he tells her: "Your parents didn't die in a car accident like you previously thought. I killed them. Oh, but don't worry... *puts away his gun, finally* I only wanted to kill your father, but your mom was being a bitch so I had to take her down too. Don't you feel better now that you know that?" *Girl continues to look terrified, but Bourne walks away, looking satisfied*. I bet in the deleted scenes section of the dvd you can find one of her installing extra locks on her door following Bourne's little "visit". ;)
Meh... He nearly shot Julia Stiles early in the film, so I had already switched sides by that point anyway.
By the end I was thinking, "ok... What now? Good job, you didn't do shit, Bourne." I think it would have been a better decision for Bourne to have gotten revenge, then kill himself. Really. I honestly believe that. It would have spared everyone so much time, money, and pain if he ended it all right then and there.
If he had just killed this assassin, then shot himself in the head, I would be RAVING about this movie. ...Then again, I might just be mad because there wasn't any sex. The people want to see fucking, dammit!
Posted by Insomniac at August 28, 2004 01:34 AM