October 24, 2005

Let me pimp your ride off of you.

Why buy a car?

Why buy a car when you can just dress up like xzibit and go knocking on people's doors?

"Oh my god it's MTV! AHHH!!! OMG!"

"uh, yep. I'm MTV, I'm here to uh, pimp your ride. For reals."

Seriously, these people would throw their car keys at you. Yeah, sure most of these cars are junk, but you could get some good out of it. Say, a week later they show up at "the shop"...

*tarp is thrown off the car* OHMY ...God... uhhhh?
"The first thing you'll probably notice is that tires, because when you're car fist came into our shop... it had tires. Well, we took those off, and what we did here was we took your car and put it up on cinderblocks."
"Now look inside for a moment, see that hole in the dashboard? That's where your radio used to be. My man jimmy, he sold it for 35 dollars"
"Reach in there and pop the hood for a minute, and walk around to the front. This is where the engine used to be, and from what we could see during our joyride it was a piece of work. So we sold that to a chop shop in the city."
"Next thing you'll notice is that we took the jaws of life to the outer paneling of your car.We did that to strip out all the copper wiring"
"But that's not all, wait till you see what we did to your trunk. Just stick your hand in here for a minute." "Ew, what... what is that?"
"A dead hooker with your prints on it." "HEY! THAT'S N-"
"Chill out, romeo... We have a gift for you." "A gift?"

And then I'd introduce you to the back of my hand and we'd all say in unison "You got PIMP'D!" and then we'd record you saying to the camera, behind the wheel (if there is one) of your car, "thanks mtv for pimping my ride..."

Yeah.

Posted by Insomniac at October 24, 2005 02:57 AM
Comments

I wonder if they'd pimp my unicycle.

Posted by: Steelix at October 24, 2005 12:56 PM

"We gave your unicycle 15 inch rims, yo." "Four of them, even."
"Then we have it a chassis." "And paneling" "And a V8."

Now instead of your one seat, we put in enough to seat 6. There's a windshield, radio, steering wheel, trunk... This unicycle is pimped, yo!!"

Posted by: Greg Haworth at October 25, 2005 03:29 AM