February 10, 2005

On the bus...

...on my way to class, I realised something about the way I think and percieve my world. Let me explain...
So it was 7:35, and the bus usually gets there by 7:38, so my roomate and I rushed outside to catch it. we ran down the stairs, out through the lounge, out the door, down the street and a bus went by but it was the other one, then my bus came and I got in line with everyone else and got on the bus and sat down and the bus drove away and rounded the street corner and stopped at the stoplight and drove on, and when rounding the next corner to pull onto camus I suddenly realised where I was, and it felt like only a SECOND had gone by since I had been sitting here, at my computer, at 7:35. It was 7:40. 5 minutes had slipped by with me hardly realising, without consulting my memory for what had actually happened. Why? I spent that whole time living in the present. I tend to do that, and when I remember the past and future, the present seems to become irrelevant, in terms of the flow of time. There is no sense of time in the present. It just is, and nothing else. No 5 minutes before noon, no day after yesterday, or day before tomorrow, it just *is*. This might be why I have a very funky sense of time.
Last night I took a nap, setting my alarm for 5:40 pm. It went off and I opened my eyes, confused as to why my roomate's clock said 5:40 and my alarm was going off, because I never have to get up that *early*. yes, I thought it was 5:40 am. my clock said pm, but it's fucked up on time before, and I thought that was what had happened. So I set the clock to am, and when I was figuring when I had to really get up, I suddenly realised that wednesday evening had never happened. I had no memory of it. Considering this information, I remembered that it *was* wednesday evening, and I had taken a nap. Very odd feeling, believe me, to have your mind warped backward in time like that. I had truly believed it was thursday morning. The mind works odd like that, I guess. It was dark enough to be 5:40 am. My roomate was asleep in her bed. It had seemed sensible, until the past caught up with me.

I would keep talking, but I have a horrible calculus midterm tomorrow morning, and must study. I hope everyone has a good weekend, Brian's coming over, so you probably wont hear from me. >:)

Posted by Jshei at February 10, 2005 11:56 AM

You think that's odd? I've woken up at 5 AM out of the blue, gotten out of my bed (which is quite a production, as it's 6 feet high and I have to sorta take a leap of faith), get partially dressed, and get halfway out of the door to take my shower before I realized that my alarm never went off, I didn't have to get up until many hours later, and what the heck was going on anyway? Sometimes I sleep nervously like that. I've fallen asleep again a few times, and that's never a good thing.

Anyway, I wake up at about that 6:30-7:00 for my earliest class in the week. I've discovered that if I only get about 3-4 hours of sleep I'll just stare at my alarm clock terribly confused as to what time it is, why that's important, and what that bloody racket is anyway. A few times my roommate has had to yell at me to turn it off before my brain clicks in, locates the source of the noise, and figures out what I actually need to do. It's quite odd. My brain just cannot accept the input it's receiving until somebody else starts giving me commands.

Posted by: mrxak at February 10, 2005 11:10 PM

Yeah, a lot of times when I get up I can almost feel parts of my brain starting up and figuring out what's going on. Usually the indicator that abstract thought has finished starting up is when I start thinking about this. It's a curious feeling.

Have fun with Brian :)

Posted by: Catfish_Man at February 11, 2005 12:30 PM

*nod* usually, i know exactly what's going on when I wake up, so I found this odd.

Posted by: Kelly at February 12, 2005 08:15 PM