I just had an interesting (frustrating) conversation with my mother. I have known her authoritarian tendencies for a long time, and although they have frequently, long been a source of frustration, as I think is an experience shared by many people my age, I try to learn from those tendencies rather than react rashly from them.
outcast parent directoryCertainly even authoritarians say things with kernels of truth in them. But it isn't so much what you say, but how and in what manner you say it that matters when speaking of an "authoritarian," so that is beside the point, although it is important not to throw away someone's ideas because they proceed from such a mindset.
It is, in the end, sad to think she, or anyone, thinks they know me better than I know myself. Feedback about my behavior is, of course, incredibly useful and appreciated, since we sometimes do things that we don't entirely understand or even realize. But humans are rife with confusion in thinking they have access to the inner parts of other humans.
In any case, it is a continuing challenge to confront such error calmly and resolutely. I realize the reality that it is difficult, or perhaps impossible, to change people who are locked into their own semantic jumble of nonsense. But it is a better difficult challenge to keep the focus on myself, and not allow anger to overcome correct thinking.
Those who justify do not convince. - Lao Tzu
Posted by Lobster at November 25, 2004 03:05 PM