I watched this documentary on the Sundance channel regarding Bush and his faith. It was fairly interesting and well-balanced.
driver genius reg nummerI always find it amazing how some people can think themselves to be, and indeed sometimes appear to be, very virtuous and yet say and do the most passionate, uncontrolled, indulgent things. (True of people like Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, etc.) I suppose that is part of the price of their faith and structures of self-control. I try to be generous in my evaluation of people who try to achieve a kind of perfection, even when they step on my toes. They know not what they do.
And ultimately I find it more valuable to control my own passions and inclinations of avarice. If I have a "back and forth" with my 'enemy', it will be a vicious circle. Reserve judgement until it necessary to come to action, rinse, repeat.
The documentary supports my feelings about Bush, that regardless of how frequently I disagree with his politics, his faith, and his philosophy, he is truly a person who is transparent, perhaps quaintly so, and out to do what he sees as good.
As a man, more, as a politician, he is a bit of a unique case. Unlike some of his company, or perhaps, distant company, he seems personally humble in his faith, even while making declarations of good and evil.
"Dracula" by Iced Earth is a damn good song. I am reading Dracula by Bram Stoker in one of my classes, so I have been listening to the song repeatedly. Granted, the Dracula in the song is the derivative, romantic-hero kind, and bears little resemblance to the book's Count Dracula, but damn, I just want to grow long hair, go see Iced Earth at Jaxx, and give myself a sprained neck and possibly a concussion this song kicks so much ass.
There are number of goals I would like to reach which can basically be summarized as a more highly directed, organized life. I am by no means bereft of organization or direction, but when it comes to things that I ultimately really would rather be doing and should be doing, I tend to fall short, to myself, of a satisfactory level.
Instead of doing the things I want to be doing, I tend to sink back into habits. Mainly, I spend too much time on the Internet, and too much time watching TV. I actually do not spend that much time doing either, but with school and work, my time is limited. My use of the Internet is a way for me to procrastinate, in many ways.
Several weeks ago I summoned some motivation I never knew before. I am not quite sure how I gained it or how I lost it. I think it was a simple matter of keeping focus and awareness, something that has slipped slightly for me lately.
I have never been good at keeping plans for specific action. I think that motivation I had before had arisen from keeping a certain state of mind. I rather miss that.
Excess seems to break the continuity of life and unbalance things. I have, lately, been spending more time on the Internet than before, being drawn into old feelings and thoughts, in some respects. I will, at the very least, have to make a conscious effort to limit my time on the 'net, perhaps drastically, until I can attain a more limited/disinterested approach.
There is a good chance that the Banter & Brawl Directory will be taken down at some point in the future. Despite enjoying creating and half-heartedly maintaining it, I simply do not have the time or interest, as evidenced by my promises over the past year or so to refurbish it entirely, to get it to a satisfactory state. It is, at the moment, rather ugly and disorganized.
It is not definite. Perhaps I will find a burst of inspiration and get it to a state where I can let it sit for years, satisfied with the design and service it provides, without worrying about it. But that is unlikely, and it is best to consider it a quite unsupported service, soon to be discontinued.
It has been a long time since I have posted in this blog. What, six or seven months?
In any case, increasingly I have felt the desire to have a place to lay my thoughts down. My problem in the past with having a blog was that I had nothing to say. I often have something to say now, and I find it useful to write certain things down as a means to explore certain avenues of thought and reflection. Previously I have done this by making long, rambling posts on the boards, and never posting them except, perhaps, in a reduced form. In that way I ended up deleting everything I wrote! Such a waste.
So here I will come and put things away.