I was eating lunch at Arby's a while ago, and I couldn't help but wonder whether the new Arby's Oven Mitt (image: http://www.tvacres.com/images/helping_hand.jpg) and the Hamburger Helper Hamburger Helper (image: http://www.tvacres.com/images/helping_hand.jpg ) are related.
Well, apparently it isn't just me. Others seem to express the same sentiment. Observe the bottom of this page ( http://www.tvacres.com/admascots_arby_oven_mit.htm ) :
"One site called Oven Mitt "ugly and unlikable" while another proclaimed Oven Mitt as a cheap (blatant) rip-off of Betty Crocker's classic Hamburger Helper Helping Hand (a "bastard love child of the Hamburger Helper hand and Grimace from Mickey D's")"
Other sites apparently also want the Oven Mitt dead for various reasons and in various ways. Amazing. And I thought I was the first one to think of this... perhaps I ought to rethink some of my other "random" thoughts...
Being a fashion model must be a weird job. I can't imagine why they wear such ridiculous clothing, or why the fashion designers make them wear it. Are the designers just sitting at home thinking, "How can I completely humiliate and embarrass the models next time...?" Then they go out, give the models the goofiest outfits known to man, and they strut up and down like this is really "high fashion" that everyone should buy, but no one can afford.
I guess it wouldn't be such a hard job, though. You're paid to just dress up like an idiot, walk around, and look angry. I'd be angry, too, if I had to wear those clothes...
I read an article once about a chess player whose head exploded. He was thinking really hard about his next move, and he had been for a long time, when suddenly he screamed in pain and his head just spontaneously exploded. This type of thing has apparently happened before. It only happens in people who are very intelligent and think very hard very frequently. Thought processes are basically electrical impulses in the brain, and when you think a whole lot, the electrical impulses build up and can build up so much that they cause an explosion in the brain.
Now, I find this to be a load of crap, but I still think it would be a cool way to go out. Just having that on my gravestone would be awesome. "Died from spontaneous head explosion..." Not only would that be cool, but it would mean that I'm really smart and had to think hard about stuff. It apparently doesn't happen to many people, so I would also be one of few that it has happened to.
You may think it sounds a bit morbid to be thinking about this, as do many people I have talked to about it, but I've got to die sometime. Why not die in the coolest way possible?
I read an article about a cow that was born in Asia somewhere. At least, I think it was in Asia somewhere... Anyway, it was born with two extra legs. It had four normal ones, and then two smaller ones hanging off of its neck. They weren't mobile, so they weren't really of any use to the cow. However, I think it would be cool if she could use them. I think having some extra limbs would be quite useful.
I don't think I'd want any extra legs. Those would probably be quite cumbersome. I might be more balanced, but I'd have to learn to walk all over again. I might be able to run faster, too, but I don't do much running now, so I don't think I'd really get into running even if I had more legs.
I'd like some extra arms. I'd be able to carry more stuff, and heavier stuff. Plus, with extra arms, it's easier to hold someone down while you're beating them up. Not that I ever do that... I'm usually the one that gets beat up... But maybe if I had extra arms, it wouldn't happen so often...
I was wondering about sesame seeds the other day. What are they for? It seems that they're only for decoration. I can't think of any nutritional value that they have. They don't really taste like anything either. They usually fall off of my bun pretty easily as well. An annoyance, mostly... They don't add any flavor or texture to the burger, or whatever is on the bun. They're worthless.
So who thought that putting them on the bun was a good idea? Maybe some guy named Bill Sesame, who worked in a burger joint, thought, "Why don't I put a bunch of seeds on these buns and make them look new and improved and cool? Then people will buy more of them!" He didn't know what to call the seeds so he named them after himself. And now we're stuck with them on our Big Macs with the two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese... and whatever else is on those tiny things they call "Big" Macs.
These days, most people use CDs to store backup data and such things, and most people have a CD burner of some kind. For newer users of computers, this is all they've ever used or had to deal with. A whole lot of information can be stored on one CD, or a DVD, for those who have DVD burners.
However, for those of us who have been using computers for a while now, what do we do with all the old floppy disks that we've collected over the years? We must have at least a couple thousand stored upstairs... And they're entirely unusable. We have an external floppy drive, but all the stuff on those disks is really old. It's crazy. If we erased all of the stuff on them, we might be able to open a floppy disk store... but who would buy them? Vintage collectors...??
What is it about books that's so appealing? I don't mean what's in the books, but the books themselves. Basically, what's so great about the paper, and turning the pages? I seem to like that better than reading something on a computer or TV screen. Is it just me, or is it just more satisfying when you get to the back cover of a book than when you get to the bottom of the scrollbar?
I don't really understand it. I may not be able to survive when paper books are nonexistant and digital books are everywhere. I will yearn for a page to turn... but there will be none. Only screens, with buttons to push. I may not read at all during that time...
And now I feel like going and reading a book...
Eyebrows confuse me. What are the for? They don't seem to serve any actual purpose. How can two clumps of hair on your forehead really be an advantage? It seems that they are mere vestigial remains from a time when having them was deemed useful.
However, the strange thing is, I can't seem to find a reason why I should not have them, and I can't bring myself to get rid of them. This is why they baffle me so. They are seemingly useless, and yet life without them seems even more strange than life with them.
Bugs are kind of stupid sometimes. I often wonder if they get dizzy and vomit after they've been flying around in circles for a while. Perhaps they have a general immunity to motion sickness or something. I am certain, though, that whatever is vomitted out of a bug, another bug will find it appetizing and will eat it. That's just how stupid they are.
I also think it's weird when they fly into holes in my head. I've had a few in my ear, a couple in my nose, and even had one fly into my eye once. That was painful for me, and it must have been worse for the bug. He's probably wondering where the heck he got himself into this time, while frantically trying to get out. At the same time, I'm trying to get him out as well, and he's not cooperating particularly well. It was a bad experience for everyone.
For those who don't know, a doppleganger is a person that lives somewhere in the world that looks exactly like you, but you may or may not know it. It's said that for every person, there is a doppleganger somewhere in the world.
But how does this apply to identical twins? Do they have dopplegangers? Is there one for each of them, or only one for the pair? Would the dopplegangers also be twins, or not?
This also seems to apply to identical triplets and larger groups of identical children, and I don't know about them either. How would we find out? There are a lot of people in the world...
I just noticed something...
The number 3 looks kind of like the number 8 cut in half. The interesting thing, however, is that although the symbol for 3 may be half of the symbol 8, 3 is not half of 8.
Perhaps at one time 3 WAS half of 8, and so whoever came up with the symbols wrote them accordingly...
Or maybe I'm just thinking too hard...
At what time, exactly, does "late night" turn into "early morning?" I've always wondered this, and it seems that it's kind of like that toast thing I wrote about in a previous blog.
Does it REALLY depend on what time it is, or does it just depend on what you call it? The best I can figure is that at the "crack of dawn" it's early morning, but does it have to be light to be morning? Certainly not.
Perhaps it's sometime a little before 4:00 am, since I've found that most people I talk to will call the "about 4:00 am" time "morning." Anytime from about 11:00 pm to 3:45 am, or so I hear, is considered "late night."
But how can I be sure? Well, what is sure in life, anyway? Well, that's a topic for another blog...
I like it when I have songs stuck in my head. However, I hate it when I don't know the words. It's extremely annoying because I can't sing the song that's in my head, or I'll just sing the same stupid part over and over again.
It's even worse when I do know the words and it's a song I don't particularly like. Then I'll start singing it and annoy myself and other people. I kind of talked about that already in a previous blog...
Usually the only thing I can do at that point is to try to think of another song and not let the original song creep back into my head. It's better if I can actually listen to one, though.
My mother brought up a question a few years ago during dinner. We all thought nothing of it, and even laughed at it. She took no offense, since there's really no reason to, but recently I've begun to think about this question a bit more.
Her question was, simply, "Do birds know they're small?"
Now, at first, this may seem like a stupid question, and although we've discussed it a bit, none of us really thought it was worth going into. However, it seems to me that perhaps it is a valid question, and one worth pondering.
"Small" is, of course, a relative term, comparing the size of one thing to another. Whoever is comparing something would think of themselves as "normal-sized," and judge other things to be larger or smaller than they are.
So, it seems that birds would think of themselves as "normal-sized." Therefore, it stands to reason that they would NOT know that they are small, but only that other things are bigger or smaller than they are.
It seems only logical that a blue whale, in a moment of deep concentration, would ask the question, "Do humans know they're small?" It would, of course, seem silly to the other whales for him to ask this, just as it seemed a bit silly for Mom to ask about birds.
What exactly is the difference between ketchup and catsup? I had always assumed that they are the same thing, but how can I be sure?
It might be useful to know where the words ketchup and catsup came from, but I'm much too lazy to try to find out. I find it easier to just think about it endlessly.
I've never understood why people insist on changing their hair so much, especially women. It's just something on top of your head. Why must you play around with it, change its colors, curl it, straighten it, grow it out, make it shorter, change it all over again... Why can't you just be satisfied with what you have?
If you have short hair you want it longer, if you have long hair you want it shorter, if it's curly you want it straight, if it's straight you want it curly, if it's blond you want it brown, if it's red you want it blond... ARRGG!! Just stop it!
Not only is it annoying, it's confusing, especially if it's a big change. Sometimes I don't even know who I'm looking at anymore. I think I'm looking at someone I know, but what if it's not and I make a fool of myself by saying hi? What if it's someone I know and I don't THINK it's someone I know and I get yelled at for not saying hi?
*sigh* It's going to keep happening, I know it... but at some point, it better stop, or I'm just going to shave everyone's hair off.
I've realized many times that when I'm not feeling particularly happy, happy people annoy me. Especially the ones that seem a little TOO happy. In fact, people that seem too happy annoy me generally, no matter what mood I'm in.
The same goes for people who sing to themselves when no music is playing. This is especially annoying when they don't know the words, or the tune for that matter. Even if they are singing to music, they ought to know the words before they start singing in front of people. I REALLY get annoyed when I do know the words, and they don't, and even more annoyed when I try to correct them and they get mad at me.
You could say I might be a bit too annoyed at people, but I think it's perfectly healthy and proper to be annoyed by others. In fact, it seems to me like people should get more annoyed. If they did, perhaps some of our many problems will get solved. Perhaps people will begin to learn the words to songs before they sing them.
I can only hope...
I hate money. Little pieces of paper and little round metal things... what are they for, really? I wish we could do away with money and just work for an actual thing that we want instead of just some small pieces of paper. It seems like a better solution.
I don't know exactly how it would work, though. I'm still thinking about it... but since it probably will never happen, and the pieces of paper and round metal things will be around forever.
Banks wouldn't be too happy if it happened, though. They'd have nothing to do. But if there were no banks, then you wouldn't have to pay money to get your money... and that's the strangest thing in the world to me.... buying money???
That's why I hate money. Or maybe why I hate banks...? I dunno..
It's not that I don't like keys, but they just seem strange to me. The strangest thing about them is that we still use them to open doors and start our cars. Why do we still use these even though they are hundreds of years old? It's amazing to me how these small, metal, strangely shaped tools for opening all kinds of things things have survived to this day. Have we not come up with something more sopisticated that the general public can use? I know that other things are used, like cards, hand and retina scans and other things, but why aren't these installed in residential areas or used in cars? They could be quite expensive, but that's really no excuse. As soon as more people know that they CAN use them in their cars and homes, more people will buy them. Then, the price will fall and even more people will use them. Soon they will be just as widely used as keys once were. Why can't this happen? It seems to be logical to me. In this world of high technology, can't we come up with something better than a KEY to access our important items??
I've wondered what the deal is with toast for quite a while now. Toast is a strange thing. We all know what toast is. Toast is bread that gets heated up and dried out in a toaster. But I still don't understand it.
At what point exactly does toast become toast? Is there a certain amount of time, relative to the amount of heat put on the toast? Is there a certain heat that the toast must be, or perhaps a certain dryness? I don't get it.
It seems that it's totally subjective whether toast is toast or not. However, a normal piece of bread is not toast, because not only has it not been toasted, it hasn't been in the toaster. So, it seems that for a piece of bread to become toast, it MUST be put in the toaster and be toasted. But then again, if it's only toasted for one or two seconds, that may or may not make it toast. It may only make it warm bread. It's very confusing.
Then, of course, there's the "burnt toast" question. At what point is toast "burnt?" It's quite obvious that a certain amount of blackness on the toast is required, but how much?
All this shouldn't be that hard to figure out, but I'm stumped. Perhaps I'm thinking too hard, but I can't believe that no one has ever asked these very important questions before.