Hm. Once again, it has been a while since I last updated. I suppose that the breakneck pace I set at first would have been impossible to keep up even without the play. That, by the way, has been the major factor in making my life insanely busy. Monday and Wednesday there were rehersals, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights and Sunday afternoon I worked on the "all star fly team". Tomorrow I get out of school to work back stage again, which should be fun. Saturday I happened to be upon the max and witnessed some cops checking tickets. They really do have a good system. At STC, they wait at the very top of the stairs so that you can't see them until its too late to get on a different train or walk the other way. While I was there, they nabbed about 4 punks without tickets. Glad I had mine with me.
Reality is subjective, obviously. My perception of reality is not your perception. However, I have to beleive that in some cases, there is one 'true' reality. I can only hope to bring my perceptions in line with it. Please, dear readers, do not knowingly allow me to misjudge you. I have developed a self-confident attitude to the point that I would stake my life on some of my perceptions...to knowingly allow me to be led astray in this regard would be rather cruel. :D
I have also noticed a tendancy in myself to accept my own feelings over those of someone else, ie, feel that in some respect, I know them better than they know themself. Now obviously, I can never know more about someone (factually) than they do, unless they lost their memory or something. However, I think that my somewhat more objective position allows me insights into things they do not realize.
Oh, and yes, I am stubborn. Or at least, persistant. Once I beleive something, truely beleive something, I do not want to accept that I might be wrong, simply because being wrong in this case would be extremely painful. Self doubt is one of my greatest fears, for once you cannot trust yourself, who can you trust?
Some of you will likely feel parts of my stubbornness at some point...I ask you to have patients with me and know that what I do I do out of the firm beleif that I am acting for the best. Either that, or I'm just not thinking...or both. :D
Prom is coming up faster than many people realize...have you thought about what you're going to do yet? I'm still slightly up in the air myself...I'm almost definately attending, but my specific plans will gravitate around a few unrelated factors that have yet to decide themselves. Suffice to say I will not be planning anything that big, so if you are looking for someone to make plans/tag along with, I am not he. I've seen far too much of what groups and fancy restraunts produce. IE, if I'm not eating at someone's house, I will have little/nothing to do with the planning and responcibility that comes along with that. I fully intend to enjoy myself that night, not worry about who's going to break a glass or forget to pay a bill. :D
My friends, you are not what people think you are, you are not what you make of yourself, you are what you are. Please do not make the mistake of assuming that if someone thinks something about you that their perception of you must be accurate. Likewise, do not automatically assume your judgements of yourself are correct.
We won't stand for hazy eyes anymore...
Song du jour: Secret Smile - Semisonic
*snip snip*
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me
So use it and prove it
Remove this whirling sadness
I'm losing, I'm bluesing
But you can save me from madness
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me
So save me I'm waiting
I'm needing, hear me pleading
And soothe me, improve me
I'm grieving, I'm barely believing now, now
When you are flying around and around the world
And I'm lying alonely
I know there's something sacred and free reserved
And received by me only