I woke up early this morning, after less than 5 hours in bed. I must have still been partially asleep or dreaming: the light coming through my window was a strange bluish grey and I was completely disoriented. For a few minutes, I didn't know where I was. It seemed I was laying on air beneath a rough, cloudy sky, wind raging across my face...and the rest of the world was gone, somewhere beneath me perhaps, covered by darkness. I felt so incredibly alone, knowing there was no one here but me, knowing whatever was coming, I had to face it by myself. The slamming of a door down the hall brought me back to reality, pale green numbers on my watch convinced me I really shouldn't be thinking, and I spent the next hour failing to fall back asleep.
A thought stuck with me all the while I couldn't sleep, though. It seems people are like great helium balloons, teathered to the earth through a multitude of strings. Some strings are enough to hold the balloon on their own, others can resist only a portion of the balloons force. When too many strings are broken, we just float away...unless we pop first.
Thank you for the last 35 months, and the years before that.
Happy anniversary, beautiful. I love you.
Blinded - Third Eye Blind
Time it passes and it tells us what we're left with
We become the things we do
Me, I'm a fool, spent from defiance
yeah you got me but
I didn't give up on you
icarus is not a tee shirt or a swan song, no
He is born again and
It's not easy being me
but I can't promise I will mend
Or bend when you believe
That we are fixed now from our birth
And I've just fallen back to earth
Still you know I'll try again
Cause I believe that we are lucky
We are golden
We have stolen manners
in the days when we were one
So when I see you
In spite of all that we've become
I'm still blinded
But I'm still staring down the sun
When I see you