I'd go for a long drive at high speed, daring the road to shake me free, to remind myself of my own mortality and the value in each new day, and the privledge that it is to be alive.
Sometimes, you just kinda lose your perspective on things. After all, at least the road hasn't kicked me off yet.
Drifting in an open sea watching you standing on a desolate beach as the wind plays with your hair and you wave as I float about, aimlessly. Or is it a ship sailing away?
All about your frame of reference, and I'm not so sure it matters. End result is the same no matter which point is considered stationary.
I miss that twinkle in your eyes and the feeling of happiness that carried me soaring through the air every time we embraced. I didn't have a care in the world then.
Now I'm slowly drowning, looking back at that beach/ship, and I don't know what the future holds anymore.
I love you.
Sunday Drive
By The Early November
And we wait above a road.
We're turning to go home.
And the silence from the side of the car
Tells me everything and how we are.
'Cause there's no more trying to make this so right,
There's no more trying tonight.
And you know it's not so easy when you're all alone.
And I wonder if I'm alone in your head.
I know something is wrong, I just dont know what to do.
You say it's only me and that I'm so perfect for you.
I don't want to try no more, I dont want to make this right.
I just want you to be true to me, one time.
And you know it's not so easy when you're all alone.
And I wonder if I'm alone in your head.
Twelve days gone by since I have saw you last.
I'll give this one more try, I'll give it all my best.
And I'll ask "What could you be doing that is so much fun?
without me by your side, without me by your side?"
And I will take a step back, and I'll let you ahead.
And I will take a step away and see if you come back.
Because there's no more trying to make this so right,
There's no more trying, there's no more trying tonight.
We'll never be the same.
We will never be the same.
We will never be the same.
We will never be the same until you're done.
I love you.
by Brand New
Watch you on the one's and two's
Through a window in a well lit room
Become a recluse
And I blame myself cause I make things harder
and you're just trying to help
And when I wake up you're the first to call
This is one more late night basement song
and I'm so sore
My voice has gone to hell
and this is one more sleepless night because we don't believe in filler.
Baby, if I could I'd sit this out.
(This is over when I say it's over)
This is a lesson in procrastination
I KILL myself because I'm so frustrated
And every single second that I put it off
means another lonely night I gotta race the clock
(I ignore it and it ignores me too)
Lets say we go and crash your car?
And every time I leave you go and lock the door
So I walk myself picking at a chip on my shoulder
I'm another day late and one year older
It's failure by design
And we just want sleep
But this night is hell
I'm sick and sunk and I blame myself
cause I make things hard and you were just trying to help
I got no gas(no gas)
Winding out my gears
This is one more day on the verge of tears
And now my head hurts(head hurts)
And my health is a joke
And now I gotta stop because the headphones broke
We don't believe in filler
baby, If I could I'd sit this out
(This is over when I say it's over)
This is a lesson in procrastination
I KILL myself because I'm so frustrated
And every single second that I put it off
means another lonely night I gotta race the clock
(I ignore it and it ignores me too)
Lets say we go and crash your car?
And every time I leave you go and lock the door
So I walk myself picking at a chip on my shoulder
I'm another day late and one year older
It's failure by design
I'm out of everything
No one sleeps till we get this shit out on the shelves
It's late, I'm faltering
This time I got nothin' to say besides...
Do Do Do. Do Do Do.
Do Do Do. Do Do Do.(Nothing to say besides)
Do Do Do. Do Do Do.
Do Do Do. Do Do Do.(Nothing to say besides)
Do Do Do. Do Do Do.
Do Do Do. Do Do Do.(Nothing to say besides)
Do Do Do. Do Do Do.
Nothing to say besides...
(This is over when I say it's over)
This is a lesson in procrastination
I KILL myself because I'm so frustrated
And every single second that I put it off
means another lonely night I gotta race the clock
(I ignore it and it ignores me too)
Lets say we go and crash your car?
And every time I leave you go and lock the door
So I walk myself picking at a chip on my shoulder
I'm another day late and one year older
I'm a failure by design
I wrote you a letter last night, a long rambling look into my head. I sent it, then called you, then went to bed. I woke up this morning with no messages on my phone, no emails on the computer, and an error, saying my message couldn't be sent because the server couldn't be found.
I hope it rains today.
I love you.
A novel: a world bound by fragile paper, a universe resting in the palm of your hand.
What if a novel were never written, a world never created? What would happen to the characters flung from the pages into oblivion? Where do stories go when they are untold? Where is the world when I shut my eyes?
Where am I?
Dreams are stories we hold inside us, written on the pages of our hearts. A dream is a hope for tomorrow, a longing unfullilled, a desire for something more. What happens to our dreams when we abandon them? Where are the unrealized futures, the never-were pasts, the presents that will never be? What if I were not, who would you be? We're faceless without a mirror, dark without a light, alone without company, illiterate without words.
But to the blind man, is the world dark?
It can be but the world. Knowing no light we know no darkness. Without dreams, we are empty. When dreams are replaced by nightmares, the world grows no colder for we merely forget the memory of warmth. Hopes replaced with regrets as spring by fall. We face the winter with a brave face for we remember the summer. We have to beleive the summer will come again. An everlong winter, our nightmare, alone in a room with thoughts spinning faster, dreams fly far and forget to return as doves released at the wedding, free to go as they please.
The more I squeeze the sand, the faster it flys through my fingers; dreams more elusive than the fleetest sand depart by the moment. And memories fade in time, blocking out the hurt, or so we must beleive. Pain defines life. Life defies pain.
Myself, a role I don't know well enough.
Does the character die with the author, or can they live on, trapt in their paper prisons?
Do they sally forth every time the book is opened, or is it all a hollow reflection of a dream held by a man long since gone, remembered only through the words he strung together and brought to life? If you cut out all the pages of tragedy, leaving behind only the blissful peace before the villian strikes, will the characters stay happy forever? If the deaths are skipped, its as though they went on vacation to some far off land and will be coming back someday soon, but no one knows when.
Incomplete and lacking or complete with sorrowful?
Life is too complex to understand. No one can explain existance or tragedy, love or war.
I guess the only thing to do is hope those tears we cry help plants to grow, that there is some greater meaning to our pain. Too much to endure alone.
And no where to turn to find relief.
Depression and elation, states of mind, interactions of setting and self.
But sometimes, you're stuck where you are and stuck with yourself.
Gotta make do. Or move. Or lose yourself in the world.
Odds are, one day, the way back will escape me too.
Paradoxical irony rears its head: if we were always happy, we wouldn't know happiness.
This pain shall come, this pain shall pass, and I will be here, as long as I'm able. When the time comes, I too shall pass. Lacking a novel, how will we be remembered?
But what fate awaits the characters that should fill these empty pages?
Maybe they fill the land of missed opportunities and unwalked roads, unspoken words and unsung odes.
I love you, now and forever.
Music that holds me.
I love you.
Starlight Incentive...
by All Safely Crashing.
Wait here, is what she said
I dont have the time to talk now,
Dont call, i have friends now
she said i wont need you anymore
Take my heart, in your hands
and place it on your sleeve so that no one can reach me,
Your too late, for any change i dont owe you anything,
go ahead, hold your breath, like always ive got nothing left
just like the sound of your voice go back to the night she said goodbye,
outside dead winter in January with the cold air falling on our one very
last kiss with our eyes locked close together
i wish the moment could last forever
my starlit sky, begins to fall
and i walk away still standing tall
my head held high, my eyes half close
as i start my car to head back home
go ahead, hold your breath, like always ive got nothing left
just like the sound of your voice go back to the night she said goodbye,
outside dead winter in January with the cold air falling on our one very
last kiss with our eyes locked close together
i wish the moment could last forever
my starlit sky, begins to fall
and i walk away still standing tall
my head held high, my eyes half close
as i start my car to head back home
so many cold nights but without a doubt
that one winter night will still stand out
so grab my thoughts carry on as i fall asleep
and ill wake up holding her in a careless dream
An hour waiting. A down payment on penance, I guess.
I miss you.
I love you.
Happy anniversary.
Something Worth Fighting For
All Safely Crashing
This is for you
The water was really cold.
On your mind, yhou know your on mine
I'm happly right now, or am I just blind
I called you again, I think we're best friends
Only scared to be sure you're scared that it will last
Looks could kill, you're smiles like braille
and we'll stay inside avoid the winter chill
we'll sit in my car, don't have to drive far
only hear the sound, the sound of our hearts
don't tell me its game over
we've only got one life in this game
there are no continues no time to stop
we're driving fast
afraid to crash
we're doing fine
we're doing fine
So had to go home
I'll feel so alone so I'll stay with you and let my true feelings show
Its what I do to get me through so I'll find someone somebody just like you
I'll sit in my car won't have to drive far
as I hear the sound of my own heart
don't tell me its game over
we've only got one life in this game
there are no continues no time to stop
we're driving fast
afraid to crash
we're doing fine
we're doing fine
don't tell me its game over
we've only got one life in this game
there are no continues, no time to stop
we're driving fast
afraid to crash
we're doing fine
we're doing fine...
It’s been a bad day,
another bad day and all I want to do
is look at you and know I’m okay.
From where I’m sittin' these shoes ain’t fittin'
and I’m walking backwards, looking down,
don’t see the sky I see the ground.
Above, below, you look and so you wonder,
where the time has gone of looking up,
tomorrows on the way.
Above, below, you look and so you say,
when I wake up in the mornin'
is it gonna be another ugly day?
She sits in church its 2 pm
and look whose back from work again.
I guess they thought you're better off,
without this life; without a job.
From where I’m sittin' these shoes ain’t fittin'
and I’m going nowhere, killing time,
just trying to feed my bleeding mind.
Above, below, you look and so you wonder,
where the time has gone of looking up,
tomorrows on the way.
Above, below, you look and so you say,
when I wake up in the morning
is it ‘gonna be another ugly day?
It’s been a bad day,
another bad day
and I cross my heart and hope to die
these dreams of yours are gonna fly.
Bad Day
Something Corporate
Above, below, you look and so you wonder,
where the time has gone of looking up,
tomorrows on the way.
Above, below, you look and so you say,
when I wake up in the morning
is it ‘gonna be another ugly day?
another ugly day...
another ugly day...
another ugly day...
Impossible...
Best Interest
Impossible, its possible
cause that night seemed a little different
we were holding onto this moment we'll soon miss
you were holding me tight as i gave in to your lips
impossible its possible that's what she said
no need move the pieces until they fit
it is true this ride was worth it
I thought how could something so good
could ever come my way
hard to believe but so true
I cherish the day I met you
you're living proof that dreams come true
you're all that I wish for...
All We Ever Needed
The Early November
Tonight is a story of love
And two broken hearts set by one
All he wants is a sign
Of how she's making her mind
All he ever wanted was
Love and love and happy afternoons
Watching TV from your room
While you're laying in my arms
And I know It's not fair to me
To see this love walk right by me
Every day, will we ever meet the right way
Again, again
Tonight I will sit next to you
To see if you act like we're through
To make you laugh is all I want
I'll hold you while tears fill our eyes
Love and love and happy afternoons
Watching TV from your room
While you're laying in my arms
And I know It's not fair to me
To see this love walk right by me
Every day, will we ever meet the right way
Love and love and happy afternoons
Watching TV from your room
While you're laying in my arms
And I know It's not fair to me
To see this love walk right by me
Every day, will we ever meet the right way
Again, again