EVula's Blog

You do *not* want to piss me off.

You may think that you do, but you really, really don't.

One of the (many) things I'm in charge of at work is collections. If a client is late in paying us, I'm the one that calls. I love my job in a very sick and sadistic way. I'm also very, very good at my job.

We have this one client... well, I shouldn't share the name (legal issues and whatnot), so I'll just call them "Deadbeat." Deadbeat is a restaurant that is just around the corner from us. We originally had been talking with Deadbeat about a postcard campaign for them. We were pretty excited; this was a fairly large client, and we were hoping to have things take off with this local franchise and have it go all the way to the corporate level. However, that didn't happen.

Everything with them was rush rush rush. Our initial concept was shot down. A mistake in my opinion, but whatever, it's Deadbeat's call. So we did a second one and sketched out what the photoshoot was going to capture. Because they were in such a rush, they told us to just go ahead with the drawings. Okay... whatever, they're the boss. All the while, we'd scouted out the restaurant and told them what they needed to fix (a lengthy list). Deadbeat also changed our postcard numbers; we were going to direct the cards to a much better list of addresses, but they had us go with their list. Again, they're the boss.

So, the postcards finally hit. Fast forward three weeks after I send them the invoice and I get a phone call from Deadbeat. Turns out they didn't think that they should get charged for the initial concept (charged as a flat fee) since they didn't go with it. Problem is, we dropped a lot of time off the final invoice because of that fee (that way the invoice was under the max amount we told them it would be), so I wasn't about to just take the fee off and call it a day. Deadbeat suggested we drop the amount down and make it a flat fee; we were still losing money, but less than if we just dropped the Concept fee, and since we were trying to get our foot in the door with Deadbeat, I reinvoiced them.

Well, Deadbeat fell off the face of the earth after that. I kept trying to get in touch with our contact at Deadbeat, but kept getting his voicemail. On one day (the 60 day mark for the invoice), I called once every hour on the hour (a total of 7 times, since I missed it at lunch). I sent a letter to them reminding them of their obligation (via certified mail, so I knew they received it, and have legal evidence proving such). The stipulation on the letter was that, if I didn't receive payment or communication within 5 days, I'd be taking them to court. Day #6 rolls on in, no money or phone calls, so I head down to the county clerk and file a civil suit against Deadbeat. Lo and behold, after he was served the notice by a Sheriff's deputy, he managed to pick up the phone to call me. So less than 30 hours after I went to the courthouse, I had my money. Booya, lawsuit cancelled.

Now, in the middle of all this, we invoiced the remaining time we had in our various projects for Deadbeat (including that initial Concept Development fee that they didn't think they should pay). Enclosed with the invoice was a letter that let them know that, yes, they were legally obligated to reimburse us for our time, regardless of whether they used it or not.

Well, I called Deadbeat yesterday to remind them that they owed me for the second invoice today (the 11th), and that if I didn't have my money by noon on the 14th, I'd be taking them to court again. I got a phone call from Deadbeat earlier today, and he had no clue what I was talking about. Bullshit, the invoice was sent via certified mail, I have a signature saying it was delivered. Regardless, he is confused how we can charge them for anything they didn't use; after a fairly heated (though civil) conversation between myself and Deadbeat, I tell him that I'll be going down to the courthouse on Monday to file against them, and I just sent Deadbeat PDFs of both the invoice and the letter that accompanied it (again, letting him know that he is legally bound to pay us).

The shit will be hitting the fan around the middle of April, more than likely, so hopefully I'll have some more stuff to say then. Right now, I'm in a sadistically wonderful mood. :)

Now, this is just the worst of the three clients I've had to start roughing up just to get my money out of them. Another was much easier to get my money from, though I think I've made an enemy of the receptionist (telling someone "that's not good enough" when they give you the run around doesn't make them your friend).

The second client was a pill to deal with, too; the president (who was my contact) kept giving me sob stories about how she was dealing with personal matters. Now, don't get me wrong, I feel bad for her... but I don't care. In the time that she took to tell me her sad little stories, she could have been signing a check. Before we began working with her on the two projects, she had us hold up until she was sure she could pay us; a little while later, she gave us the go-ahead. That means she had the money; any shit that may have happened in her personal life is none of my concern, and would have looked *very* bad if I had taken her to court (lucky for them, I got my check from them two days before I would have done so).

Oon the plus side, I *did* successfully get them to pay their late penalty; this is almost unheard of in regular attempts of creative firms to get money. Everyone I've told that to that works in a creative industry (like the architects next door, or other graphic designers) has been quite impressed. I'm seriously considering freelancing as a collections agent, working on a commission. I could make some serious money like that. :)

Posted by Eric at March 11, 2005 12:12 PM