From this article:
In a recent online poll conducted by Esquire magazine, 11,000 women in 15 countries were asked to rate Mr Bush's sex appeal on a scale of one to 10, and America's commander-in-chief failed to register much more than a two.
Women in Australia, Germany and the Netherlands were the harshest judges of George W's sexual allure, giving him an average rating of 1.4 each, Esquire said in its survey.
By contrast, Indonesian women were the most generous, giving Bush an average score of 2.2, while American women found their president slightly less appealing, rating him a 2.1
Well, I ask you, what the hell did you expect? He's a monkey.
As an afterthought, here are some ideas as to how Time magazine's "Person of the Year" in December could improve this rating:
- Learn to pronounce words correctly, your voice is the world's biggest turn-off. For me, anyone who sounds like an ageing cowboy is about as sexy as a monkey smoking weed. I recommend speaking lessons. Now, for that you need a good speaker. We don't want you speaking like some snob now, that's even worse. You need to speak like the ladies want. Who has the sexiest voice in the world? That's right, Sean Connery. I say you use that amazing amount of cash of yours to good use and pay that man to teach you how to speak.
- While you're at it, learn how to laugh. Currently your laugh is like grating my ears on the front of a Power Mac. Hopefully, Mr Connery can help you out here, too.
- Ditch the wife. None of the ladies want you if you're taken. While you're at it, take up a slightly camp nature. If the girls think you are gay, it only entices them to try harder. I'd dare say that the sexiest men in the world are homo.
- Be a bad man. Stop giving a crap about the Middle East. Don't be plane evil, just be kind of apathetic (not pathetic, apathetic). Oh, and one day, you have to turn up to a State of the Union address drunk. It'll drive the ladies nuts, man.
- Stop hanging out with the dork crew. John Howard, Tony Blair? I mean, they are so not sexy, you won't learn anything from them. Ditch those losers, man. The Bush doesn't need nobody.
Okay, so there are the ideas. They may not win you the election, but maybe you can change the law so that the sexiest man wins the US election. Don't worry, Master Sean Connery isn't a US citizen, so he doesn't count.
Posted by huwr at April 15, 2005 06:18 PM