The huwr Factor

WWDC Keynote almost here

In a little over 10 hours, Apple will begin the Worldwide Developers' Conference in California. While less interested readers will immediately tune out right now (like they normally do... you good for nothings), my more astute readers will ask the following, valid questions:

1 - What the le heck is Apple's Worldwide Developers' Conference,
2 - Why should I care and
3 - Will Apple include a virtualisation package in Mac OS X 10.5 to run multiple operating systems without dual-booting?

I'm going to skip over 1 and 2 and just say that Apple is going to release some cool new software.

(And by cool I mean the "hey, man, that's cool" not the "hey, man, steal my television" kind of cool. Sometimes people have trouble understanding...)

What will this software do? My sources in Cupertino have provided me with the following information:

A - It will be powered by love. Seriously. Apple CEO Steve Jobs has started taking acid again. He's seriously gone nuts this time. I don't know how Apple's engineers have done it, but the thing seriously won't work in Israel. Along with this, the Aqua theme will be replaced by "Pink".
B - It will be named "Pony" and the box will be multicoloured. The rumours that they'll stop naming Mac OS X after cats will be true. They're going for Ponies now. Along with this, they will also start giving away jelly "iTrips" with copies of Mac OS X. While Apple will not say what is inside them, they are reportedly for "enhancing the experience" of Mac OS X Pony..
C - I'm not sure quite how to interpret this one, but apparently it will be "like, way far out, man."
D - A virtualisation package will not be included, as per Phil Schiller's announcement.

So you can just all wait and see what comes out tomorrow. Will it be cool? Will it be evil? Will it be banned by the UN Drugs Council? We'll just have to wait and see.

See that I'm right, that is.

Now go to bed!

Posted by huwr at August 7, 2006 07:58 AM