Some people are complaining that Apple has gone backwards in their new Intel MacBook Pro line by not including a modem. What people don't realise is that Apple has gone double backwards and have missed out another important feature. There are no floppy drives.
Seriously, I can't imagine why Apple has dropped floppy drives. They've completely abandoned an important subset of the population. Just think of the people who will need those floppy drives: urm... those people who have really old backups of stuff, hrm... urm... people who are allergic to optical drives... and... urm... goat... people... goat-people. Goat-people need floppies.
Sure, flash drives are cheap as chips (heh...) these days, but what about the people who can't afford chips? What about the people who can't afford external USB floppy drives? You know, those really poor people who are buying Apple pro gear? Those guys! Who's looking out for them, eh, Apple?
This is the 101st entry... I totally missed the 100th target... Oh well...
Anyway, I would like to use this event to announce that, considering my ineffable wisdom, I will now answer questions that you email to me. So, don't be shy, go ahead and email to me your worldly problems and I shall answer them.
And especially email me if you're a girl, and especially if you're above a 6 out of 10 stars.
DESK, Huw Federation: The Prime Minister was sent to bed early last night because he didn't eat his vegetables, according to his mother. The PM apparently didn't eat his broccoli, cauliflower or carrots because they were `yucky'.
`He's a naughty little boy,' said the Prime Minister's mother. `He demanded to get his dessert, but when we didn't let him he screamed at his father and was sent to bed before he could watch his favourite telly programme: The Financial Review, at 8 o'clock.
`We're not letting him stay up that late if he's going to treat us like that. And he can think again about getting that new monocle, too!'
The news has been met with mixed reactions from the international community.
`We're not going to do business with leaders of nations who treat their parents like that,' said Mr David Williams, Permanent Secretary for the Valese Union Ministry of International Relations.
`Whoa! Way to stick it to the man, dude!' said the Mark Confederacy's Minister of Foreign Affairs, the Rgt Hon Peter Kuckov.
In other news, it was believed that the Federation was being invaded by a gigantic space-duck nicknamed `Über-Tim' this afternoon. However, it turned out that a nameless ordinary Earth-duck was simply nesting on the radar.
Well, this is my first Bug Report Friday. As an Apple bug reporter virgin, I'd just like to say this: Phew, I did it. This has the problem ID of 4416456.
Summary:
GarageBand will always minimise its main window when the user double clicks the title bar. It does this despite settings in the Appearance pane of System Preferences.
Steps to Reproduce:
1) Launch GarageBand and make a new project.
2) Double click on the title bar of the main window. The main window being the window with the wood-grain sides.
Expected Results:
The window comes to the foreground if in the background, or, nothing if already in the foreground.
Actual Results:
The window minimises to the dock.
Notes:
This does not occur to the windows in GarageBand using the `brushed-metal' theme, such as the Musical Typing window. It only occurs to the wood-grained main window.
I've been working on writing a film. It's Cheese Trek: Episode 9 and 3 quarters – a copyright infringement film. It's coming out whenever I feel like, so don't pester.
Actually, pester me, then I'll actually get it done. You'll want to email me, though.
Check out the trailer.
I also got an offer to get into the University I wanted with the course that I wanted, too. The UAI cut-off went down from 85 to 83 and it still has vacancies. It was a fairly easy ride into it. Yippie for me, I guess...
What's more interesting are the people wanting to get into courses that require UAIs of 96.75, getting that exact UAI and then getting an offer. Kudos to them.
The Universities Admission Centre isn't actually people. They're a bunch of underground gnomes working around the clock to make crap web sites. The actually work is really done by a 4 year old autistic kid in California.
DESK, Huw Federation: The Federation attended a pool party today, and, against all Government predictions, got wet.
`We totally didn't see that one coming,' said a spokesperson for the Government.`I mean... wow... how did that happen... It's gonna take me ages to get dry!'
Several members of Parliament have declared that the wetting was unwanted and therefore illegal.
`We were outside innocently throwing pretzels at the Helena Emporium when we got wet,' laments the opposition backbencher Jenny Tayler MP. `The other nations ganged up on us and threw water at us with bowels.
`Except they weren't bowels, they were bowls... Bowels... gross...'
`Oh, the Federation deserved it, and the Federation loved it,' said the Helena Emporium's minister of Foreign Affairs, Dr John Rudolf. `Besides, they got hugged by several female nations, so it's okay...'
`Oh, yeah...' said the spokesperson for the Government, blushing. `But they still owe us...'
Much speculation has gone into what it is the several female nations owe the Federation. Many suspect that it's nothing at all.
Who the hell came up with that name? Sounds like a freakin' kids' toy. For those not in the know, the MacBook Pro is Intel-powered successor to the PowerPC-powered PowerBook. God I hope they don't call the Intel-powered iBook something like `My First Mac' or something.
Anyway, this is hopefully going to be my 18th birthday present which my parents have promised me since I was yea tall.
My only concerns are the bugs. It is the first release, after all. Since they ship in February and my birthday is in March, there'll be some amount of time for me to decide if I should just go for the safe option. So, unless MacBook Pros (shudder) start exploding and unleashing the fiery vengeance of Morgoth upon the Earth, it's what I'll be getting. I guess I'll also consider battery life. Less than 2.5 hours would probably be undesirable.
What I will be interested in seeing is what Apple comes up with for 1 April 2006. That will be their 30th anniversary. CEO Steve Jobs acknowledged it in his recent keynote speech, so it could be something special. A 30th anniversary Mac?
Good night, and good luck.
DESK, Huw Federation: Federation Parliament passed a law today relaxing laws on the usage of English Grammar. Under the new laws, you can now use `you' in generic sense, use singular `they' and a preposition is now something you can end a sentence with. Passive Voice laws have also been relaxed by the Government.
However, not everybody is happy.
`Sentences ending with prepositions is something the Government should protect us from,' says Prof. Jennifer Whingley from the University of Desk. `Err... I mean, sentences ending with prepositions is something from which I should be protected!
`You shouldn't have to put up with this nonsense! I mean... One shouldn't have to put up with this nonsense. More should be done by the Government, not less. I mean... They should do more, not less. Ahck! You get where I'm coming from, right? ... Oh, crap, I did it again!'
The Prime Minister was not available for comment, instead making a comment through his spokesman, Mr Michael Coppers.
`lol u guys use grammar badly!1 ur stoopid and i laff at u u homo fags' they said. `omg b4 i go da pm sayd he is lmao @ u'
DESK, Huw Federation: No one noticed the Federation today at a the International Economy Summit. The nation's delegates could be seen jumping up and down in the back row of the summit trying to attract attention. All other nations seemingly ignored them.
`No matter what we do they just won't notice us,' said Federation Ambassador, Lady Jessican Hunter, while holding up a large drum and banging it repeatedly. `I'm beginning to think they're ignoring us...'
Lady Hunter then took from under her desk a large semi-automatic rifle, and discharged several rounds into the ceiling.
`Nope... nothing...' she continued. `I'm beginning to think that the only way to get their attention is to set fire to the mothers...'
Otherwise, officials declared the summit to be an overall success, but not all nations were happy.
`We did manage to eradicate all foreign debt,' explained the ambassador for the Valese Union, His Excellency Mr Andrew Jenkins. `Still, I can't help feeling a little cynical when we leave these things...'
`We still didn't get our swing set!' complained Noackanian Minister of Foreign Affairs, Mr Blum. `Phht... we didn't get the pony we asked for, either...'
Much of the debate was on the sensitive topic of buying tickets to a concert performed by The Mars Volta. However, before an agreement was made, the summit was cut short by an unexplained fire in the building. No one was hurt, but the Tandyland delegate lost her dolly.
Some people are upset about me using `my lord' in a manner satirising some House Anaticula characters. I assure you, I do not dislike House Anaticula or the people involved with it. What I do dislike is the rampant `let's go to House Anaticula this afternoon and beat people to pulps in a disorderly fashion and just call each other `my lord' to make it sound official'. That is not what SCA is about, and is part of the reason I don't really attend meetings anymore. I love you all, really, but not the disorder.
Yes, I do love you very much. Especially that time that you all tickled me and made me roll around to stop you... We won't see the likes of those days again.
More NEWS articles coming up lat0r.
I hear by declare my New Year's Resolutions:
- Enhance monitor resolution. Switch to 1600 x 1200 as soon as possible.
- Use slower film speed for photographs to get the best out of higher resolution.
- Eat more.
- Eat less.
- Exercise more.
- Post more.
As you can tell, I never really put much effort into these. I can tell you which ones of these will actually be fulfilled: the first one. All the others are probably just there to make the first one look more important by comparison, and to sweeten the blow of the pun a little.
If anyone has ever pretended to use Old English and said something like "quacketh" rather than "quack" (yes, I'm looking at you, certain members of House Anaticula), you are wrong wrong wrong. The "-eth" suffix is used in singular third person present tense verbs. As such something like
"Silly person speaks incorrectly."
becomes:
"Silly person speaketh incorrectly."
Correct usage of "quacketh" would be something like "the duck quacketh" rather than "the duck goes `quacketh'". You wouldn't say "the duck goes `quacks'" now, would you, my lord (aka fat Tolkien wannabe)?