DESK, Huw Federation: Ztorzon Warriors from sector 65G in the Andromeda Galaxy today lodged a case in the Supreme Federation Court to claim their right to run for Parliament, which is denied under Federation Law.
Under the Federation Constitution, only Earthlings are allowed to run for Parliament. Ztorzon Warrior and leader of the Ztorzon Earthling Death party (ZED), Mr TORKZAR claims that the laws should be extended to include Andromedans.
"PUNY HUMAN LAW NEED BE EXTENDED TO INCLUDE TORKZAR!" claims TORKZAR. "TINY HUMAN BONES CRUSHED IF THEY NOT EXTENDED!"
Taken aback by several journalists' shocked reactions, TORKZAR added: "TORKZAR BEING METAPHORICAL! BONES CRUSHED IN COURT OF LAW!"
The Ztorzon Earthling Death party's lawyer, Mr Jack Williams released a statement to the press earlier.
"The laws were extended to include Teddy bears so why not Ztorzons?" it reads. "Just because they have 23 heads and are massive death crushing machines that feed off the human negative emotions, doesn't mean they're bad persons."
You know, I've completley run out of ideas for what to put in this stupid thing. Some of you may have noticed the complete lack of entries for about 1 whole friggin' month. A month. So I guess I'll revert to telling you what I did last night...
I went to see Love Outside Andromeda at the ANU Bar. Who cares? No one really. There was my brother, my high school teacher and my girlfriend's dad. This is beginning to sound like the beginning of a bad joke...
...
I was thinking about starting a serial. That is, every so often I write an episode of some kind of a story. I was thinking a detective ghost-story-type thing. Would people enjoy that? It'd be similar to Michelle's Cheese (if you can remember), but I'd try and do it somewhat sensibly.
I have a CSS crisis!
My CSS style, as it stands, sucks. I mean, just look around you. It's disgraceful. Not to mention hardly unique. I must have counted at least 5 other blogs that I have found with exactly the same style. I'm not going to link you to them, however. They already get enough attention as it is.
So what on Earth am I going to le do about it? No longer am I going to stand in the way of progress and whine about my CSS style. I am going to finally stand up and take charge of ThF (you should all know that acronym). I am going to stand up, and kick some CSS buttocks. Web 2.0 can go jump. This is like Web XP.
Actually, maybe not...
But since I can't be stuffed and will probably be dead for Web Vista, I'm just going to take what I can afford: Web 1.0.1.
I'd use Web OS X if it weren't for licensing issues. Now, let me stop all you geeks (the kettle) emailing me (the pot) right there. And before you start raving about the freedom attained by using Webix or FreeWeb or... Webuntoo... or something, let me shoot you in the face before this joke goes any further than this. Which is way too far. Way too far.
Which is exactly how far it is to Heléna's house from my house: way too far.
Maybe I'll make a better CSS style in the near future.
Speaking of future, you guys will probably all start reading the wise words of my man the Daft Philosopher. He's one hell of a duffer. Or a düffer.
Now go to bed!
DESK, Huw Federation: 2000 parents are expected to show up in Desk's main square this morning to protest against the Government's recent decision to open 39 new schools, according to organisers.
"This time they've just gone too far!" said one parent, Mr Jared Humphries, consulting a Public Schools catalogue. "I mean, where am I supposed to send my kids now! There're just too many options...
"This one looks nice... this one called `Tharwa Primary'... Where the hell's Tharwa?"
However, the Government has asked the public to take these announcements with a pinch of salt, as the schools are `second-hand'.
"We're not even sure if these used schools are any good," said the Minister for Education, Karen Heddings. "We just sort of found them in laying about in the dumpster outside this place called `ACT Legaslative Assembly', and figured, you know, why not?
"I mean, who hasn't taken major public services from a dumpster before?"
The Minister has promised to employ as many Greek-accented people as possible to remove the smells.
The Government's decision was passed through Parliament on Monday, along side controversial tax-cuts and increases in public spending.