SHMIT, Noackania: Noackanian rebels have captured the religious leader known only as "The Mighty Mighty Morzung". Noackanian rebel group "Counts" announced the capture last night on Noackanian news network "Al-Igator", along with a video. The video was unrelated to the capture. According to Counts, they needed to return it to a store in The Federation by Friday, and this was the fastest way they could think of returning it in time to avoid the £3 fine.
According the Counts press-release, The Mighty Mighty Morzung was captured by mistake.
"It was a mistake to capture The Mighty Mighty Morzung," read the press release. "We apologise deeply to any one we may have hurt, and express our deepest regrets to The Mighty Mighty Morzung's family and followers."
The press release was met by a stoney silence from the major governments of the World.
"Oh, crap," read a second press release. "Now what are we going to do? Please take him. The guy's the most obnoxious thing alive.
"Seriously, he, like, washes in Dijon mustard."
"I WILL CRUSH ALL PUNY HEATHENS!" declared the Mighty Mighty Morzung. "I AM ALSO DISAPPOINTED THAT I WILL NOW MISS WEEKLY GAME OF SCRABBLE AT FRIEND THE POPE'S HOUSE TOMORROW!"
The Pope denied being friends with the Mighty Mighty Morzung.
It's been years since I've seen Jurasic Park, but I still wonder about how secure my bedroom window is against velociraptor attacks.
Okay, so I've started a forum for us. It's called ``Use The Possum'', and it's here.
It's functioning, and ready for operation. However, some things still need to be done:
- Better CSS and styling.
- Maybe a better range of forums.
- Implementing suggestions.
- Fixing problems.
Please please give me suggestions. I made this for everyone, so I'm not going to hesitate implementing things for people. And please please tell me of any problems or difficulties you encounter. Email, MSN, or any other way would be fine for you to report problems.
Otherwise have fun!
Look, I'm telling you. There is no such thing as Father's Day! It's made up. By K-Mart, and places like that. Seriously. What about 'Mother's Day'? Also made up.
To those who disagree with me, I ask of thee these questions three: which father, which mother and isn't it about time you checked the plural genitive case for ordinary 'mother' and 'father'?
Father's Day isn't a real holiday. Fathers' Day is. Mothers' Day, too. They are the real holidays. Father's Day is a commercial invention, I'm telling you.
So is Yeaster! I mean, I just made up Yeaster! That's why it's fake! If any of you were wondering, Yeaster is the day that celebrates the resurrection of our lord Fungus Hyphae, the saviour of all eukaryotic organisms. Does Fungus Hyphae exist? Is he really our lord and saviour? Is it totally just something I invented by copying words from Wikipedia? Answer: no, no, yes.
But what was the point of all of that?
I don't know.
*sighs*
Stop putting the apostrophe before the s in "Fathers' Day".
(you bastards)